Question: What options does one have if the heart says one thing and the mind says another? Who wins?
Answer: I think the state you describe is already a good state. Normally we are governed by our heart – in other words by our instinctive desires, that blindly dictate all our thoughts and goals – while the mind is there only to make sense of, sort and catalogue the emotional impressions.
If there is a “dissociation” in between the heart and the mind, that means that we have received, accepted “foreign control” over our direction, goals which new control disagrees with our instinctive, original, egoistic software.
Usually this “foreign control” comes from the environment, providing us with new values, new goals, direction. The new intention can gradually adjust, train our heart/desires until we reach balance, agreement in between them again.
This reprogramming – accepting “foreign control”, new intentions over our instinctive desires – is not dramatic, not difficult as long as the environment we exist in in general also operates according to the inherently selfish, egoistic Human nature. We simply change one egoistic orientation to another, replacing one selfish goal with another.
It is very different though when we enter an environment that is governed, guided by fundamentally different, altruistic intentions, steering people towards completely new, unprecedented goals, towards completely changing one’s qualities, purpose. Then the split in between the heart and mind as a result of accepting “foreign”, environmental control, intention sparks an inner war.
It is like trying to ride a very wild, unrepentant or donkey, trying to steer, orient our egoistic desires towards altruistic purposes, goals. But only in this way can we become Human beings – creatures that can tame and ride their inherently selfish, egoistic nature, using the instinctive heart to pump life force altruistically for the sake of others in a unique, mutually supportive and mutually complementing environment.