Question: Why do the things that we avoid the most or don’t expect to happen actually happen?
Answer: I am not sure things are as black and white as you described, but probably you are not far from the truth.
The reason is that we are incompatible with, opposite to the Natural system we exist in. Although we do not recognize and definitely do not accept it yet, we do not exist in a random, “open ended” world, but we live in a closed, completely deterministic and “lawful” Natural Universe.
Reality is governed and is driven by a very precise, relentlessly progressing evolutionary plan, with predetermined cause and effect processes. This plan determines our own individual and Humanity’s collective development and final role in the system as well.
But by birth our qualities – selfish egoism, subjective perception – are incompatible with the system and its plan. We want everything to favor, profit ourselves at the expense of everything and everybody else, while the vast system operates based on absolute altruism, unconditional service and love of everything outside of the “self”. Our own biological body lives and survives based on this mutually complementing altruism, without which balance and homeostasis – thus life – is impossible. But our Human consciousness is opposite.
This is why our expectations, calculations almost always go against the expectations, calculations of the system and its developmental plan.
In order to reach compatibility and thus receive what we want, what we expect, first we need to make “our desire similar to the desire, plan of the system”. And for that we need a unique, “integral education/upbringing” so we can understand how the system works, what our own nature is and how we can reach balance, compatibility in between them.